EP 8 Letting go of fears

What is the whole point of having a job or having a business? What did you want to be when you grew up? Because then we get so caught up making money to survive and to feel free.

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Let's talk about it. What is the whole point? Of having a job. Having a business. Is. Because We start. This whole path. Of. What do you want to be when you grow up? What do you want to do? And then we get so caught up. Because of course the survival, the defense mechanism, the Need to.

Make money to survive to live on our own free. Save. And even fulfill expectations, try to Be what other people want us to be. Have our family and friends and loved ones. Be proud of us. But it all starts with the question of who you want to be.

Who do you see yourself? Becoming. As a young child, we have all these dreams. Of. Oh, I want to be an astronaut, a firefighter, a doctor. I want to be. A ballerina, a gardener, a veterinarian. And the intention. Most likely, most of the time They're filled with.

I just want to help or I love animals. Or this seems interesting to me or that. Seems so gross at school. Or. Uh, I like to draw. It's very You organic very unique, and very ordinary to some extent. Because the intention is so. Um, Organic so natural. So Um, without a thought.

Without effort without forcing anything. And it isn't until we get older that things become more forced. We try to. Mold ourselves, we try to become something that we're not. We get scared. Full of fear, frustration, and sad. And there's a lot of expectations and limitations and negativity around us.

That doesn't support it. Don't allow Us to thrive and Live to our fullest be Who we want to be who we are inside. Um, I know when I was little I remember teaching my stuffed animals, I used to leave them around. And, Um, Talk to them.

Have a little easel and talk to them about it. Fantasies and histories and Math and Science, and who knows what else? I would come up with it in my brain. And I was interested in it. Um, being able to share knowledge. Share. Um, With others. And the other. Type of, What we call now profession or feel?

What interested me was medicine Once I got older I started to know what surgery was, and what doctors I became. Um, interested in being a surgeon. And I was so specific. I would say I wanted to be a heart or a brain surgeon because those are To my little mind.

The most important organs in the human body. And without those, you can't survive. Which is true I believe you can't survive without a brain or a heart. But that was it. That was my reasoning. It wasn't because I would make more money. In that field in that profession. It wasn't because somebody told me to do that because it ran in the family, it was just because I thought those two Organs were the most interesting.

And that they were the most vital to helping someone. Um, To live to just live. And I wanted to be a part of helping people live. Um, Live, fully live. Completely. And I didn't know any of that, conceptually When I was little I just had these dreams. I just had these big ideas.

And then with time, Um, and thinking of the future thinking of what is to come thinking of all the things that could be, and having regrets, or having fears, then shit gets real. And, The whole fantasy. And the whole dream gets hard to pursue and make a reality.

Because of my fears of other people fierce from Society and trying to fit in. Under labels within boxes and checking things off all of that. And then I start to doubt. Well, why did I even want to be those things, and who is that person anymore? And why do I even need to be dreaming?

Why can't I just find something practical or find some sort of compromise that's what I did? I got into writing. When I was in middle high school, I used it as an emotional tool, a healing tool. To cope with some family dynamics, some traumas, some drama. The habit stuck with me just writing journaling expressing myself through words in that way.

And i thought, well, this is great because Now moving forward a few decades. When I was in college, i thought this was both a practical skill something that i could use to survive and also Um, somehow maybe I could use it to live. A good life lives. A dream.

Being creative somehow. Sharing an opinion, sharing a thought getting published. And so that was my compromise. I was somehow being able to be a teacher and share While also healing. Through words. And it took me a long time to Peel. Back the layers to Come home to me. And realize that.

I've always been me. Or. Better yet. I never changed my true desires. My true intent in dreams. None of that changed. They just got Oppress. Oppressed they got Molded and shifted and tainted and Tilted in all sorts of things to make it look like, they were no longer my dreams.

And, I started to think when am I ever gonna just arrive? When is everything just going to be settled? And I'm just gonna have everything under control and checking that box and just Feeling like I've achieved. Because society has this expectation that we need to achieve something something external needs to be validated and affirmed.

But, We are always who we are. And again, that might sound. A bit. Nonchalan, or it may sound obvious or I don't know. But You are always going to be who you are the skills strengths, passions, dreams, fears, and feelings in all of it. Has always been inside you.

It's like, You are the seed. This flower. And in that seed, To be that flower, you already have everything. You have all of the ingredients the DNA, and All the essential components. To then blossom. But because we get put in environments and situations and things that maybe don't serve and nurture us.

That then we start to question. Oh my gosh. Maybe I'm not an aloe plant. Maybe i am a rose. Maybe, i am a sunflower but no, i am a tulip. To kind of follow that analogy that metaphor. So, It gets tricky, it gets hard. We get blinded or blindsided.

And tricked and duped, and all these other things to feel that We constantly have to do something to achieve. To fit in. And then we constantly have to do something.

Change ourselves and be something that we're not but you've always been yourself.

So what i would like to say, is that On top of. You already have everything inside you, strength, the creativity, your particular zones of genius.

And Ways of expressing. On top of all of that. When you? Are in a job. Or. Having a certain role. Opportunities, those experiences can bring out. More of what is already inside you. So, for example, if you are a graphic designer or you are a writer an accountant, whatever your current title role job description is There are pieces within that that naturally.

Come to you and that naturally, gets highlighted more of the creative expression, more of the organization, more of the mathematics, and logical type thinking, Um, And those are the things that are important to know because those are the constant things. Those are the things that come easily to us naturally without force or pressure.

And if we continue to lean into Our strength, and the things that naturally come from within us. Effortlessly. Then those things are not only a firm. Who we've always been who we are. Ultimately, they can shine a light. In what way, what path what skills? We. Should treasure and honor and continue to develop because those are the things that Help us.

Develop our lifestyle design our business or our career. However, we choose to show up. So if I, for example, had continued With being a technical writer, because Makes a lot of money in the area that I'm in. It's something that is a need. There will always be It will always be useful too.

Be able to write and edit, technical documents. Um, Proposals all that sort of thing. But if I had continued in that, I wouldn't have ever been able to Pick up on and see that my strength is design. And not just graphic design, but the user experience design website design, and interior design.

And now, creating my business about helping others design their lifestyle, which Um, Implements and includes all of these different types of design. Uh, into their career, into their lifestyle, the business. And so if I hadn't had that eye-opening experience and started, I to seen to sense that i was molding myself.

Trying to put myself in a box. In something that wasn't for me. I wasn't honing in on my strength. And wasn't serving me besides. Helping me survive and make money. I wouldn't have been able to start this whole path, so a job a career. Something that we Start to view as a necessity.

Can become a real opportunity, not just of course, going up or down. The corporate ladder. But ultimately an opportunity to see within ourselves, what we want, and who we are. How we want to live our lives, how we want to be of service and show up to others, how we want to create change in the world in the environment in our community.

Because One job might have. A small domino ripple effect in your bank account. It might have a small effect on Um, you're immediate team and group of people that you interact with, but in the long run, A job creates a lifestyle, a job creates an identity and it can Strengthen you it can lift you support you or it can suppress and diminish.

And eventually. Erase. Um, all of the things that naturally come within you kind of go back to that analogy of nature and the plants. If I were to put a seed, a sunflower seed in The desert or whatever type of very dry environment that sunflower Well, I'm not a biologist or Um, Agriculturalist, but I think that that sunflower won't be able to thrive and might even die in that environment.

Because that seed, Isn't. Meant for that environment, it might adapt. Who knows. It might turn into something else. Based on whatever survival and defense mechanisms it has, it won't be that Sunflower that maybe it was meant to be. Maybe it could have been. Um, and that happens to us, that happens to many of us who start in one direction, and then because of time and expectations and culture and all sorts of things we change, we adapt.

We're no longer the tulip or the rows or whatever it is that naturally we could have been instead of a pink rose, would become a yellow rose, or sometimes we change completely to be a daffodil or I don't know. And I'm not saying that that's necessarily bad because we all have to find a way.

To. Survive to live to thrive. Within our means and accessibilities and capacities and everything. And more than anything. If you have the opportunity, if you have the chance.

Peel back those layers, shed those Pieces of you that have been put on you that have been trying to morph you Um, I would say, take that chance. There's only one you, however, the cliche that is you have a right, you deserve. To be able to live the life that is not only best for you and meant for you, but that will also as you live your truth and your experiences, it will allow others to live their truth and their experiences.

However, cliche that is but it is the truth. Um, Because just how again with the nature analogy. The bees come to the flowers. Because of the Pollen, and the natural. I think it's nectar. You see, I'm not an A biologist agriculturalist. But there's a reason why certain things. Work and harmony in synchronicity.

So if you show up for yourself, You may not even realize how you're also helping others to show up for themselves and take action in their own lives and how you lean into your strengths and Um. Building your own. Um, inner reserves and your inner. Uh, Energy and capacity that allow So much change within your life, your family, your job, your relationships, your, of course, the economy, they kind of me the money.

All of that gets influenced just by you. Taking up your space. True and honest and real with yourself and taking the necessary actions accordingly. Um, So, you are You have, you always? Have had what you've needed inside of you. And, Like I said, because of the external because of the Society and the environment that we've been put in and that we live in, it gets hard to hear ourselves to honor ourselves.

Put ourselves first society isn't built that way. But this is a reminder for you That you have everything that you need inside of you and that's not just Oh you have love inside of yourself. No, you have the creativity, the passion you have the Uh, strength and determination inside of you.

All, if you wanted to be a doctor or whatever. Um, roll away, you want to show up? You have that capacity inside. It's about spending time with yourself to realize This is who I am. This is what comes naturally to me. , these are my strengths and then this is how i choose to show up based on this knowledge.

And this awareness of myself What is it? That makes sense. What is it that I want to be able to focus on and hone in on what makes sense for me at this time? Because long-term This is one how I want to show up in the world. Doing x y, and Z, is what really will not just allow me. To be me, and live, the lifestyle one, and to the potentiality, and the possibilities that I want. But also, I will be able to affect x y, and z change, and I'll be able to do all of these other things and live this sort of way.

So, Remember that you have everything that you need inside of you, you have the strengths and the creativity and You are. Who you're meant to be, you have that wisdom and knowledge inside you. And, Start to peel back. As you can the layers so that you get More. Clarity and closer to your inner self.

And, Whatever job or circumstance situation you're in. Remember that, that is either. Shining a light on things that build you up and that feel good or They might shine a light on that. That might not be your strength that might not be. Uh, how you want to show up in the world but you always have a choice.

You have a choice too. Give into that more. Or given to yourself and continue to focus and prioritize. And your own. Um, natural uniqueness your gifts, talents, and strengths. So, Go be yourself, go. Take positive productive action. On. Natural gifts and strengths. And take it one step at a time.

Until next time.