The importance of your feelings, how they can help your career

It's really important to just say what you feel, because nobody will really know how you feel until you express yourself. And that seems very logical and very seems straightforward and rational and obvious. But it's really not because it gets really hard to. On earth to dig up all of the unsaid things and things that maybe we don't even wanna feel or admit to. No line. 

So for example, I had a really hard. Difficult relationship with the family member for a long time and it wasn't because. I just didn't like this person. There's something that just rubbed me the wrong way. The way that they presented themselves, it wasn't because they had done something to me, although they did things to me and it wasn't great. But I wanted to really like this person. I wanted to love this person. I wanted to have a close relationship to this person. Um, because I had an ideal and expectation in my mind about how that relationship should be and how I should feel comfortable and vulnerable, especially with this particular family member. And for decades it just. It wouldn't happen, and it wasn't until one moment where. Kind of a very tense. Very. We were in a car and you couldn't get out of the situation. You're kind of trapped together that I finally told this person what I thought of them. And not enough, I don't think, in a very malicious way. But more so in the way of. I can't take it anymore and I don't understand where the disconnect, where the hurt, why all of our relationship for most of my life has been so hard and it turns out this person felt the same way. That I was feeling, but about there. Family member, another relative and. I was feeling like, wow, so this is literally what generational trauma and this is what family cycles. And this is what happens when things continue to ferment and continue to recycle, but in an unhealthy way. Because so much gets left unsaid. And then the resentment, the sadness, the frustration, all of that festers and it becomes an identity 

And it becomes a behavior to the point where. It becomes normal. and And just everyone gets treated that way and then. It becomes a culture and a family more. And then? All of the expectations and we think about why we have the jobs that we have and why we have the religions and the lifestyles that we have, and then we start to question everything because all of that was. Ingrained somehow develop somehow is stabilized and maintained because someone, somewhere didn't say no. Enough, stop. I can't do it anymore. Enough is enough. This is unhealthy. I won't take this. And it doesn't have to be mean, demeaning, disrespectful, but it has to be. Putting your foot on the ground saying no. And not even just for yourself, but also coming to think about all the other. Lives and generations and people in your circle or outside of your circle that will get affected by your decision 

And you say no and saying I'm gonna say my truth in this moment, it may not be the forever truth. But it has been my truth for some time. And it's been my experience. And you say what you feel all the things unfelt, unseen, All the things neglected, kind of festering, collecting dust, All the things that. Are not the kombucha or the good fermentation that we're looking for in our bodies and in the soil in the ground? But you say it. You say it so that there can be new soil. You say it so that you're creating new life. And even if in the immediate future you're not seeing. Drastic changes with this person, with the relationship, with the situation, but in you there has been a change and. The ripple effect, the domino effect will be tenfold that you cannot even imagine all the different. Changes in how you show up for yourself, how you dress in style, how you interact with other people. How you make decisions. And again, how you then are able to choose a job and a path? That you want for yourself because you're no longer thinking of what others think trying to fulfill. Obligations and expectations that are not yours. You are freer. Just in that one instance of saying no, you are free. 

So the key to this. Is to know yourself. Of course everything starts and ends with you. And. You start to develop a more intimate relationship with yourself, not even just what you've eaten and if you're tired, which are also very essential, how you've moved throughout the day, if you've moved throughout the day. But it gets to the feeling of. Oh, that person rubbed me the wrong way. That interaction didn't sit well with me. And not excusing it. We're not oppressing us, oppressing it, not letting it die down. Letting it live and breathe for a moment so that you can then. Repurpose it. Recycle it. Give it new life by setting boundaries, by designing your lifestyle, creating making choices that anger, frustration, whatever feelings, those are useful and purposeful and if you can. Intentionally move them and use them in a productive way to design your life and not just identify with those feelings or allow those feelings to take over and give someone else that power over you. Then you are a huge step closer. That's like 5 steps in one. To making decisions for yourself and just admitting. In just recognizing so the first step. 

The first step is having some sort of practice where you can check in with your feelings. This looks very different for many people depending on. What they have access to, What they're used to? Whether it is writing, whether it is singing and talking, whether it is exercise, but ultimately. It's the ability to recognize what you're feeling, because we don't. What we don't want is just to sweat it out or release it without channeling it and really identifying it, so that then if the same feeling and patterns come up again, you're not. Just releasing constant release because then that energy isn't really going anywhere. It's not being addressed. It's just. Like when you're boiling pasta, or you're you're boiling a soup or some sort of broth. If you don't have the lid on it, all the steam and all of that energy that went into boiling that water is released. But you need the lid on it so that the food can properly get cooked. It doesn't just get evaporated. No line. So start with the practice, maybe 5 minutes every day, either before bed, in the morning, during lunch and just find time away to check in with yourself and feel what what is it I'm really feeling? Who is bothering me? What's bothering me? What are the conversations? What are the situations? what's the going on Let it all out. And then step 2 

Is using that emotion to take. A positive, productive action. So now that you know that. You need to talk to this person. You need to. You're feeling a certain way about this person. You need to. Remedy the situation, The environment. Then you create your options. What feels most comfortable, most safe, or most accessible? What feels that you'll be able to really be able to address your feeling and. Get more. Grounded, more centered, more understanding. The line. 

And then the last step would be then checking out, checking in afterwards. OK, so you had a conversation with that person, you confronted them or you. Decided to quit the job. Hooray or whatever it is now. How do you feel? How are you continuing to sustain this new identity, this new release of emotions? And just like any exercise or just like any other form of practice and embodiment, how are you gonna continue to strengthen that muscle and? Keep checking in with yourself. Keep doing it. So you got this. Take it one step at a time. Check in with yourself. Feel your feelings. All of them. And take positive, productive action. So that your feelings and your mind and all of the things unseen, unfelt can be addressed. What's in the darkness can be brought to the light, what's in the shadow can be. Whole. And you can continue to build your life, design your lifestyle. For you, based on all of what you're feeling and your truths and your experiences.