Design+ Podcast Ep 1: Life building through the Yamas (Yoga philosophy)
*** This is a transcript of the podcast episode, if you’d like to listen to it, please click here***
Intro: Hello, Hello podcast land. My name is Miriam Raquel Sands. I like to go by my middle name, Raquel, and I’m a woman’s health coach and career lifestyle designer. I help women quit jobs that no longer serve them. Build businesses that match the lifestyle they really want and ultimately help them find their purpose and path in life.
Today, first episode, we’ll be talking about the Yamas these are principles part of yogic/yoga philosophy that help guide our lives, help inform our values, and kind of help us orient ourselves with other people. And so there are five Yamas. The second episode, just as a teaser, is [about]the Niyamas, which are kind of the following up, maybe the action steps that work in partnership with the Yamas. So if you’re interested in all things building a lifestyle based on your values, reinventing yourself, or always checking in with yourself and your north compass, stay tuned for more.
Ahimsa: nonviolence
So the first Yama that we’re going to get started with is called Ahimsa. And it’s spelled AHIMSA. Basically, it’s translated as nonviolence and some ways that we can think about nonviolence in terms of building our lifestyle, informing our actions, and the way we present ourselves in the world.
Number one is not harming others physically but also not harming them emotionally. So, by being considerate, being respectful, we might agree to disagree on things on certain views or opinions. Nonviolence is really this idea of how we can also internally be honest with ourselves.
What is it that we are maybe hiding, not sharing with ourselves? [Something] We don’t want to admit. “I’m not happy in this job,” or “I’m not happy in this relationship.” “Something is missing in my life.”
These are some questions that we could be asking ourselves as we start to think about ahimsa. This is the first Yama because I think it is the foundation. Without vulnerability, real transparency, and honesty, the rest of the Yamas or the rest of the values can’t really be layered on and stacked strongly.
I will leave you with this, some of these prompts to maybe think about in your own life.
Questions for Ahimsa, being non-violent towards yourself:
Where are you kind of in denial in your career specifically or business or relationships?
What is it that you’re withholding from yourself?
Because you know deep down that if you were to admit that you’re not happy about something, that that would take a risk and you would have to do something about that person, that job or jobs, and that’s uncomfortable. Dealing with the truth and facing yourself and the situation honestly is not easy. So of course you know, having compassion for yourself, for others. But that’s where true honesty is medicine and is a form of tough love. So hopefully asking yourself some of these questions will help you.
Satya: Truthfulness
So moving on to the second Yama called Satya. Satya is spelled Satya and it stands for truthfulness or it’s translated into English as truthfulness. So we’re still building on honesty as a form of or on top of the nonviolence. But this truthfulness? I feel is really more about finding the environments [that support us] being in more of the external.
The first Yama is maybe more internal about inquiry and asking ourselves more hard-hitting questions and truthfulness might be the expression of that to the external. So if I’m honest with myself about a job that is toxic and the people don’t appreciate the value that I bring, or the money’s not enough or I don’t feel that I would grow here those could be certain examples [of honoring ourselves and being nonviolent] then the truthfulness, the second Yama, would be asking “what am I going to do about this?”
What can I truthfully do about this situation? What do I have control over? And what is not within my control. I could change my job. To do that, I might have to go back to school or save a lot of money. I might need to lean on other people for support, whether that’s my family friends, or other loved ones. I might have to edit my resume and network, get myself back out there, and then each one of those steps might have micro steps that I need to work on in order to get each one of those things done. So it’s really an even deeper layer of honesty about what can be done, what is up to me in terms of my control, in terms of where I’m at and feel accessible and safe, and what feels reasonable.
Questions for Satya, being (even more) truthful towards yourself:
What is it that you feel is accessible for you in this moment? What do you feel is within your control or is not within your control? What feels like less work, more effort, more bang for your buck?
All right. So we’re moving on to the third yama, just as a reminder, there are 5 yamas in this first branch of yoga. If I recall correctly, [there are] 8 limbs of yoga and so I know that the most familiar is of course asana/physical postures. But there are eight. That [asana] is one of the eight kinds of branches that are part of the yogic tree and that builds out the practice of yoga. So today we’re talking about life-building and different ways that we can question, and ask ourselves deeply so that we can reset and come back to ourselves. Cultivate our North compass.
Asteya: Nonstealing
This one that we’ll be talking about now is asteya and it’s translated as nonstealing. So I believe that each yama, each value, builds on the next one, so as a refresher, we were talking about nonviolence. The second one was truthfulness and now we are on nonstealing. So nonstealing can be very obvious in not stealing. Don’t rob other people physically, you know their wallets or whatever it is.
But also we can look at it as not robbing them or others of the truth of our real expressions of our authenticity. Don’t rob others of the truth of how we want to show up and what we feel inside. Being able to be vulnerable with them and being able to express our discomforts, our anger, our fears. And internally, we can interpret this as not stealing from ourselves the opportunities that we really want to pursue for ourselves, be that a job, a business a relationship, or a family, or if we really want to travel somewhere.
Not stealing from ourselves the possibilities, the dreams. Because truly, I believe that this life is meant for us to be able to collectively contribute and strengthen the whole, but that can only happen if we each show up authentically honestly, and respectfully. So some questions to put out there for you would be:
Questions for Asteya:
Where have I not shown up fully? Be that in a certain relationship or just having a job to survive just because you paid for your degree?
Or because you need to make use of that [degree] because you are following someone else’s dreams and expectations?
Where are you not fully showing up for yourself? For your dreams and possibilities and pursuits?
That can be a hard question because although we may know the answer easily or not so easily [when] we then doubt ourselves and second guess ourselves, kind of sitting with that question maybe once a week, once a month, once a season, twice a year, whatever makes sense for you.
But it’s super important, I believe, to sit with ourselves and really be able, to be honest and be vulnerable, because if we don’t have our own back and do not support ourselves, then it will be very hard to seek support elsewhere, and put that responsibility on someone else.
Brahmacharya: Nonexcess
We will be moving on to the 4th one. Which is calledBrahmacharya. And it’s a long one, but I’ll spell it so that you all can look it up on your own time and maybe find more resources about it. So it’s spelled BRAHMACHARYA and it is translated as nonexcess so literally, it could be interpreted as everything in moderation. Having exactly what you need, not too little, not too much. An example is my own life to maybe help bring it into a better context.
I had a job that was paying me pretty much six figures and I felt like I had finally, you know, achieved success.
I had finally ticked off or checked off that box that society seems to impose about money and wealth after having over 10+ jobs. Some temporary, some contract, so many different jobs to finally find my path and lay on that six-figure job.
So 10 years of doing continuous searching, soul searching, job searching, all the types of searching that you could imagine. And I had that [six-figure] job for two years and it’s true what they say, that your lifestyle increases as your income increases because I started, you know, eating out more and that was a pleasure. It was a joy to be able to treat others and invite myself and get into some other courses and just pay for other things and it felt easy, but it also felt, I realized excessive because I knew that I couldn’t sustain that lifestyle.
This feeling like I had to spend that money, or feeling that I didn’t know how to be comfortable with having so much [money], for me felt like a lot. And still living in an area where things were expensive and I wasn’t saving as aggressively as I could have. So this idea of nonexcess of really understanding what it is that we need our basic essentials as they talk about in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I think.
And understanding that, of course, we all need shelter and food safety all different levels of safety our emotional, physical, spiritual, mental, and everything. And those are needs versus wants and I had to really reckon with myself, really question myself, if this job where I was making good money in all appearances and being able to really live a different lifestyle than I was accustomed to but I was not happy with internally.
I was not happy in the job itself with the people or the environment and so all of this effort, all of the waste of energy, waste of my own intentions and heart and mind, like everything. It just felt like a waste, even though I was supposed to have been happy and grateful for earning so much money.
Questions for Brahmacharya:
So I put this to you about what is it that you’re indulging in or taking part in that is creating? Too much stress, effort, too much of what you don’t need?
Perhaps you can find a way to give to others in your life. So is the job creating too much stress? Too much responsibility and not enough creativity? Maybe it’s not enough work from home, that work-life balance that we’re always looking for? Are the people in your life taking too much? Too much effort and energy from you?
Do you feel that you haven’t received what you really need?
So these are some questions to think about with Brahmacharya in terms of how you would like to build your life, and how you want to check in with yourself about your job, business, and people.
Aparigraha: Nonpossessiveness
So the last Yama because there are five, is aparigraha and it’s translated to nonpossessiveness.
So this is the last of the five yamas and like I said, they’ve each built one on top of another. So when we talk about non-possessiveness, I’ll go back to my previous example of that six-figure job where I had to sit with myself and really be honest about me holding on to it, possessing it, or also we can think about it as the job was possessing me and I was no longer in control of my job, of my past, my destiny, of my choices, because everything had seemed to lead up to that point of getting that job or a similar job where I had financial success and internally was dying inside.
So to be nonpossessive, I really think is to have a sense of detachment and more of a sense of control/strength internally that regardless of what happens around us or beyond our control you can let go and remain grounded, clear, strong in your North compass, in your internal spirit and energies and confidence. Another thing, of course, is to not hold on too tightly, to not possess another person or other things.
When thinking about this how are we holding on, to certain jobs, circumstances, and people’s environments out of wanting to control? So maybe I stayed in that job because it was the idea of safety and stability I looking for rather than the internal safety and strength within myself.
So in some ways, possessiveness was a defense mechanism. Was a form of me not having to do the deep work and reflecting on myself. Like, do I feel that there are people, places, and things that are taking too much of me and abusing my efforts?
I wanted to provide my specific example to help maybe give context and flesh it out a little bit this this idea of non-possessiveness. So some of the questions, again, sorry, jumping around a little bit, some questions that come to mind are what are you possessing that could be literal like a decluttering and Mary Kondo type train of thought [decluttering].
Questions for Aparigraha:
What is it that you’re holding on to? Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that’s no longer serving you?
And that could be why I was holding on to a job, a situation, an environment that felt very comfortable because it’s what I was used to for so long and what I was ingrained to seek out until something inside me just broke and I could no longer use that as a buoy, a safety vessel.
What is it that you feel other people are taking too much of your energy?
Wrap up
As we wrap up this episode I will have a link to the transcript of this episode with all of the questions so that you can easily access them.
And I would recommend starting out once a week, maybe 5–10 minutes. I don’t know how much time you might have in your life or how much energy, mental, emotional, and spiritual you have to ask these difficult, deep questions. And if a week is not possible, then once a month or whatever feels right for you but I really hope that these principles these yogic values — because yoga is translated as a yoke which is as an egg, that yellow piece, but essentially that center kind of nucleus that - hopefully helps us be balanced, be in harmony with ourselves internally, externally, and then with others and the environment.
And so that’s yoga, right?
And we’re looking for ways to hopefully be true to ourselves without harming ourselves or harming others in the process. And then being able to really shape our lives constructively and prosperously and lead by example. So I’ll see you for the second episode where we’ll go into how we can start to take more action or dive even deeper with this yoga kind of framework and it will be based on the Niyamas, which are another five sets of tools and I will also have a set of questions for those.
Till next time
I will see you all on the next episode. If you have any comments or questions, I’d love to hear them in the comment section or if you’d like to know more about me and the work that I do about lifestyle and career business design, please go to my website at MiriamRaquelSands.com and I will see you next time. Bye!
Qs for each of the Yamas:
Ahimsa: Nonviolence
Where are you kind of in denial in your career specifically or business or relationships?
What is it that you’re withholding from yourself?
Satya: Truthfulness
What is it that you feel is accessible for you in this moment? What do you feel is within your control or is not within your control? What feels like less work, more effort, more bang for your buck?
Asteya: Nonstealing
Where have I not shown up fully? Be that in a certain relationship or just having a job to survive just because you paid for your degree?
Or because you need to make use of that [degree] because you are following someone else’s dreams and expectations?
Where are you not fully showing up for yourself? For your dreams and possibilities and pursuits?
Brachmachayra: Nonexcess
So I put this to you about what is it that you’re indulging in or taking part in that is creating? Too much stress, effort, too much of what you don’t need?
Perhaps you can find a way to give to others in your life. So is the job creating too much stress? Too much responsibility and not enough creativity? Maybe it’s not enough work from home, that work-life balance that we’re always looking for? Are the people in your life taking too much? Too much effort and energy from you?
Do you feel that you haven’t received what you really need?
Aparigraha: Nonpossessiveness
What is it that you’re holding on to? Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, that’s no longer serving you?
And that could be why I was holding on to a job, a situation, an environment that felt very comfortable because it’s what I was used to for so long and what I was ingrained to seek out until something inside me just broke and I could no longer use that as a buoy, a safety vessel.
What is it that you feel other people are taking too much of your energy?
